My first post...

Alright here goes.  This is officially my first blog entry (I know, I know I'm all excited too!)   I am sure that by the time anybody reads this I will have re-written it about a 100,000 times.  Not a perfectionist but sometimes I just prattle on, so I am sure there will be many sessions of editing.  I am not quite sure how to make it all sound cool.  Really I am not sure what's cool and what's not.  That is why I rely on my teenage nephews to point it out. So maybe I will let them read this and critique... on second thought maybe not.  I think I have given them enough blackmail material to totally pay for their colleges and weddings already.
    OK so back to this inaugural post.  If anybody reads this they might ask why "Making over the Soul?"  Great question (I am so glad someone asked).  Well here I am closing in on the final years of my 30's and I find myself at a crossroads.  Not a mid-life crisis, I think, but a place now where I cannot see to far down the road.  I know what your thinking "OMG--not another sob story about someone who needs to overcome some life threatening, insurmountable, Oprah cause."  No, quite the contrary.  I am very blessed.  I have a job I actually like, working with people I actually like.  I have very good friends, a loving family (a tad dysfunctional, but I guess that's actually normal), and an overall secure life.   The problem is that with all these blessings I am just content, not happy.  I found that over the last year all I have done is ask the question is this all I can expect?  After careful examination and much blog reading I found some truths about myself.  About a year ago I starting reading a blog called "Much ado about Monty."  In this blog a young man was embarking on some very extensive changes in his life and embracing whatever that meant for him.  I found this blog to be very inspirational.  He was coming out somewhat late in life and was endeavoring to navigate the new course, that meant, his life would take.  He went through a veritable roller coaster of changes and was very candid about how he was feeling and how his psyche (Yippee got that word of the month in so check another off the list) was changing.  Now I may be making more of it than what was intended but it made me look at myself.  I am roughly the same age as he but am way more stagnate.  During the time that I was reading this blog I was always thinking what do I need to change to make me happier.  I never could figure out just what was amiss in my life.  Then suddenly one day I realized it wasn't the things in my life that were  wrong like my job, my house, my family, my friends,  it was me.  I did not like me very much.  Then things just kind of fell into place.  You see just about 2 years ago I weathered one of the most traumatizing moments of my life.   Things would never be the same again.  I say I weathered it but really I just sidelined it and myself.  I realized that for all the time since then I have been a bystander just watching my life happen and not really participating.  Now that I understand that, I think I know how to proceed.  I have spent the last few months preparing and now is the time. I am putting myself back into the game!  So first up the blog.  I am hoping that by writing this blog I have a way of holding myself accountable, to follow through with what I hope to accomplish, a healthier and happier me.  One I hope to learn to like and maybe love. 


Now commencing the soul makeover....